List of things I hate

List of things I hate Here is my second annual list of things I hate. However, it seems to have morphed into a list of types of people I hate. But this seems fair; no ones animosity should be limited to inanimate objects. 1. Perfectionists. These are people who have lost perspective and get nothing done. Of course, you can guess that I am not a perfectionist. In fact, I am a person who painted my own walls and didnt paint near the windows because I didnt want to do the detail work. I am a person who accidentally addresses the envelope upside down and doesnt get a new envelope. But there is good that comes out of a lack of perfection: I can set a lot of goals for myself because I get them done. Let me just cut to the chase: Perfectionists procrastinate because they are scared of not being perfect. Perfectionists are hypercritical to the point that they cannot support people around them. Perfectionists cant finish a project because they can always think of a way to improve it. Perfectionists are phony because no one is perfect but they cant handle showing that in themselves. 2. People with messy desks. I didnt used to hate people with messy desks. I used to just feel sorry for them. Now I have disdain, because after I wrote a column about the University of Texas study that showed that people with messy desks are not creative, all the messy desk people wrote to me. I realized, from the onslaught of mail, that people with messy desks dont think they have a problem. They are in denial. I wrote about a study. They argued with me. They did not do a study. They told me they are proof that the study is wrong. The emails were so disingenuous and defensive that they actually caused me to have less respect for people with messy desks. 3. People who complain their job is not creative. Its not your job, its you. Creative people bring creativity to everything they do, no matter what. It is inside them and no job can stifle it. Some people are driven to do art and will do it no matter what their job is: Think Kafka holding down a job as an insurance company drone. But creativity is not just art, its also problem solving. If you are good at your job you are undoubtedly creative because any form of success requires some sort of creative problem solving. 4. People who think their problems are unique. Women in finance who think they are the only ones who suffer sex discrimination. People in government who think they have a corner on bitching abut bureaucracy. Teachers who think they are the only people who have to be on all day long. If you have ever told people that your job is especially taxing for one reason or another, you are lame. Your job is not special; all jobs are hard for people who have a hard time doing a job. If you cant cope with sex discrimination in your job, you couldnt cope with it in someone elses job, either. If you cant cope with high standards in your job, you wouldnt meet anyones high standards. Stop thinking your circumstances are unique. I cant think of one situation where that sort of thinking will help further your career. 5. Grammar mavens. As a person who is not a sticklers for detail, I tire of people who call out a grammar error like they are a second-grade overachiever who will never get picked in kickball. But, any list of hated things would not be honest unless the author admits that we only hate the things that somehow remind us of ourselves. So, now that Ive admitted that, I will tell you my grammar pet peeve: You should not, ever, in any situation in the whole world, say, and myself in the workplace. Use and me or and I instead. The only way to correctly use and myself is if you are doing something directly to someone else and to yourself, so it is a grammatical construction that is basically appropriate for nothing except pornography. List of things I hate Here is my current list of things I hate. Its an on-going project that simmers week after week until it reaches boiling point and I have to spend a column venting. 1. People who are not coachable. They get good advice and dont take it because they think they know better. Everyone has blind spots that a little advice can shed light on. If you dont know how to take advice, people will stop giving it to you. And then you will stagnate. And the people who tried to help you will think to themselves, Good. I was pissed that he wasted my time. 2. Three-page resumes. Two pages are okay. Sometimes. Like, if youve been in the workforce twenty years, or if you dont know how to enlarge the margins in your word processor. But anything more than two pages is someone who has lost all perspective. There is not enough that is important about your career to fill three pages. You give away to all potential employers that you are mired in detail. 3. The high and mighty. The people who say, Id never work for someone I dont respect, or, Id never play office politics to get ahead. Get real. If you want to be able to put food on your table you will need to learn to work for someone else, to do things a way you dont agree with, to do some work that doesnt matter to you. If you can afford to lose your job constantly in order to stay on moral high ground, then you didnt need a job to begin with. 4. The 8pm meeting. I dont care if you dont have kids. I dont care if no one in your whole company has kids. Each of you still needs to get a life. Just because you have no one sitting in bed waiting for a kiss goodnight doesnt mean you should be at work. Go to the gym. Go to a movie. Participate in aspects of life that do not have a PL. Well roundedness will make you a more interesting person, and even if you dont care if youre interesting, your co-workers will, so you will do better at work if you leave work. 5. The economically alienated. Dont blow off the company party because you have season tickets to the Opera that night. Dont complain about your butler to people who dont even know what a butler does. Its one thing to have a pay scale as if you are god and the people who work for you are morons. Its another thing to shove that in peoples faces on a daily basis. Act like youre part of the team or you wont have a team to act for. 6. The people who wont change. Each week I get letters from people who say they hate their job but they cant change it because they have so much seniority. Or they want to stay home with their kids but they dont have enough money. Look, unless you are totally impoverished (and almost no one writes to me from this category except maybe recently divorced moms who have never worked) then you can do it. Sell your house. Move to Kansas. Stop sending kids to camp. If you want something enough, you will figure out how to live on less money. If you dont make the change then admit to yourself that you want money more than a job you love/full days with your kids/you fill in the blank and stop complaining. 7. People who dont make lists. Usually these are people who cant face everything they want to do. Or they dont know what they want to do. Either way, making lists can change your life. Start small: Distributing a list of items to cover in a meeting makes you look like a leader. Then get big: Maintaining a list of career goals keeps you focused at work. If you love to make lists, try branching out. Like, make a list of lists you could write. Or make a list of things you hate. Its such a big relief.